I imagine you must’ve shut
yourself off somehow–the way
you’d eventually teach me to d0–
before you entered my room
like a king’s shadow.
I hear the scrape of your jeans
your hands hot and big like swings;
I’m young so I love you. I do as you say.
You blow smoke in my face.
Now, here, I slip
because you taught me how to shut off–
how to die inside,
and I have only memories
of my body:
fear, arousal, panic and pain,
death around every corner
shh
girl
shh
I hid so well I lost me
in this confusion of a woman
trying to bud from
what’s already been picked.
(*published in Aqueous Mag, Haggard & Halloo, and Frigg Magazine)
Your words are eloquent and flow well as always, but in this case they are as beautiful as they are tragic. No girl should endure such an assassination of the soul, such a murder of youth, especially by those who should guard and protect her.
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James thank you so much
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I wish I could say I didn’t relate. You write what is the most painful to understand. ❤
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‘Like’ in that these words zeroed into my center with a shot of pain and empathy.
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