Wonder

You held the sun in your hand.

You held the sun in your hand.

I stared at the light shining

through your very skin, your

fingertips red, as if you were

singly holding a ball of fire

and the darkness around us

was a wonder then, wasn’t it?

A universe we would harnass–

sketching stars in reverse,

stunned at such beauty.

It’s strange how the ones we love

seem to sink in the deep when we’re not looking.

Strange how we hear their cry behind us

and only we know them well enough

to measure their pain.

I wasn’t there when you sank. And you found your way out.

You weren’t there when I sank. And I’m finding my way out, hoping to be as brave as you.

But every inch I fell, I had one thing to cling to.

One thing.

The knowledge that I was loved,

that I was worth loving–a girl

in love with the world showed me that–

And when I was in the hospital, after

complete breakdown, I got

your message and I clung to it every time

the light went out:

“‘Erica says ‘tell her I’m with her.'”

I kept you. I held onto your hand on those

dark

dark nights.

You held the sun.

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