So I usually love winter, especially when it’s like this–twenty below and snow four feet high.  Why?  So I could hide, hibernate like an animal.  But for the last month or so I’m noticing changes in me–big ones.  I have a fire starting under my ass.  I’m waking up.  I’ve quit caffeine (and cigarettes months ago) and am eating healthier.  I’m walking, which is like, unheard of for me.  I’m getting (slowly) back into my body, and I love how it feel.  My senses are so much stronger too for some reason, almost euphoric-like.  I feel…really good.  This is not an impulsive “swing” or mood or anything, I thought that at first too.  But it’s something new and I’ve been waiting for years to get out from under this rock I crawled under when I first got really sick, but I’m sick of this cold, lonely and dark place.  I know and knew I was kinda caught up in that cycle of looking at the past and letting it override the “:situation.  What I’m trying to say is, I feel………hope.

And now, my favorite music find of the year so far: Damien Rice (live) “Hallelujah” :

4 thoughts on “Oo-da-lol-lee

  1. Hang on to “hope”, Amy. If you assign 1% to the letter a, 2% to the letter b, 3% to c and so on down to 26% for the letter z, then the letters of the word “attitude” sum to 100%.


  2. I love Hallelujah, and that version also. At my childrens’ school’s winter concert in December the 6th graders sang it. I was sitting on my plastic folding chair openly weeping. xox



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