Void

It’s open link night 40 over at dVerse Poets! Here’s my poem:

 

there is always the need to fill,

running away from the moment

and into, into what?

but a space I can fill where I don’t belong

where no one belongs

because it isn’t quite real

and I need I need I need

those pills, those smokes,

those songs, those words

what are the words where are they I

can’t seem to write

the first chapter, I’m in media res

so why write what has no final chapter?

there are the unanswered questions, those

moments shining with purpose

and meaning and no conclusion

like ourselves, shining out there

body heavy, mind light

my hands are empty, why

are they still empty?

it’s been three years since

the post-traumatic diagnosis

they weren’t kidding when they said chronic

I’ve moved in two spaces, one at the pace

of glaciers melting and murdering, and one

in sound waves only I hear, the buzz of the bee

outside my window, where I watch his fat belly

hum and sway near the bud, thinking

to myself how lovely the simple things,

how I’ve learned grace.

and then the knife divides the states and

I am but another chaser of

of

what?

what can possibly fill me?