One Stop Poetry, One Shoot Sunday Challenge
photo by Rob Hanson

Together Forever
Hey ya remember that–
remember that bridge we saw Vinny?
Man that was a good one, eh?
he looks up in the sky
used to the airless bog swamping
him a reply, deaf to the dry death of
another root that seem, he thinks, to sink
as time goes
Arched right over like a dang rainbow–
a rainbow Vinny, in the sky
and we was what?
he looks down at his oldest, wisest
and most intelligent companion
Twenty? Thirty? Kids, Vin, kids.
We was good looking, you know?
Me and you, we was.
his eyes, those eternal knots
wrinkle into his own charm
as if he had a pipe, a rocking chair
I could reach so far, still farther than you Vin
We was shelter, man, and shade and life all over us.
Remember that Vinny?
Yeah, me too. Some day–
some day me and you, we’re gonna
he takes a small breath
and looks into the water
a barren pool for miles
Yeah
he trails his roots, watches a
raindrop ripple away his reflection
he decides is sad
We’re gonna be alright, you and me, Vin.
a crane swoops.
Shit man Vinny now did you see that?
Hi Louise – I love this poem – and I love the way you’ve almost written two poems in one and mingled them together – lovely work ! And the photo is perfect for the piece – wrong photo ? Don’t be silly 🙂
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this is just a fabulous story telling poem and i enjoy the structure you use to convey it, found myself smiling in the reading…
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so nice that you gave them a personality and a voice..enjoyed the structure as well…very nicely told..
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“he trails his roots, watches a
raindrop ripple away his reflection
he decides is sad”
Beautiful lines. IMO you picked the most difficult photo to write about and spun a tale that is appealing as a poetic narrative with emotion.
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Oh, this is amazingly wonderful! You brought those old stumps to life and I think I’ve noticed a few roots of my own sinking. I used the same photo prompt and LOVE the way you saw it so differently, so creative! You brought me joy reading this.
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Do you remember? A beautiful walk through memory, and a lovely story all around. I concur with Dustus – personally, not one that sang in me a story (which is not to say I do not like the photo – in fact, Mr. Hanson noted it was one of his favorites), but you pulled such a lovely little narrative from it. Strong voice flooded with emotion.
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I really enjoyed this poem. I too liked the two sided conversation style of the poem. Very clever and well written. Thank you for sharing.
~Corbie Sinclair
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love the formatting and conversational style here. Certainly not boring and not a cliche in sight. This is great –
his eyes, those eternal knots
wrinkle into his own charm
as if he had a pipe, a rocking chair
Amy come post on my group on FB if you’re looking for somewhere to get constructive crit on your work, The link’s on my blogroll. You’re a fine poet.
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Luke, I certainly will! Thanks and what a compliment! I happen to think you’re quite a fine poet yourself.
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