One Shoot Sunday Challenge @ One Stop Poetry

One Stop Poetry, One Shoot Sunday Challenge

photo by Rob Hanson

"Ma" by Rob Hanson

Together Forever

Hey ya remember that–

remember that bridge we saw Vinny?

Man that was a good one, eh?

he looks up in the sky

used to the airless bog swamping

him a reply, deaf to the dry death of

another root that seem, he thinks, to sink

as time goes

Arched right over like a dang rainbow–

a rainbow Vinny, in the sky

and we was what?

he looks down at his oldest, wisest

and most intelligent companion

Twenty?  Thirty?  Kids, Vin, kids.

We was good looking, you know?

Me and you, we was.

his eyes, those eternal knots

wrinkle into his own charm

as if he had a pipe, a rocking chair

I could reach so far, still farther than you Vin

We was shelter, man, and shade and life all over us.

Remember that Vinny?

Yeah, me too.  Some day–

some day me and you, we’re gonna

he takes a small breath

and looks into the water

a barren pool for miles

Yeah

he trails his roots, watches a

raindrop ripple away his reflection

he decides is sad

We’re gonna be alright, you and me, Vin.

a crane swoops.

Shit man Vinny now did you see that?

9 thoughts on “One Shoot Sunday Challenge @ One Stop Poetry

  1. Hi Louise – I love this poem – and I love the way you’ve almost written two poems in one and mingled them together – lovely work ! And the photo is perfect for the piece – wrong photo ? Don’t be silly 🙂

    Like

  2. this is just a fabulous story telling poem and i enjoy the structure you use to convey it, found myself smiling in the reading…

    Like

  3. “he trails his roots, watches a
    raindrop ripple away his reflection
    he decides is sad”

    Beautiful lines. IMO you picked the most difficult photo to write about and spun a tale that is appealing as a poetic narrative with emotion.

    Like

  4. Oh, this is amazingly wonderful! You brought those old stumps to life and I think I’ve noticed a few roots of my own sinking. I used the same photo prompt and LOVE the way you saw it so differently, so creative! You brought me joy reading this.

    Like

  5. Do you remember? A beautiful walk through memory, and a lovely story all around. I concur with Dustus – personally, not one that sang in me a story (which is not to say I do not like the photo – in fact, Mr. Hanson noted it was one of his favorites), but you pulled such a lovely little narrative from it. Strong voice flooded with emotion.

    Like

  6. love the formatting and conversational style here. Certainly not boring and not a cliche in sight. This is great –

    his eyes, those eternal knots

    wrinkle into his own charm

    as if he had a pipe, a rocking chair

    Amy come post on my group on FB if you’re looking for somewhere to get constructive crit on your work, The link’s on my blogroll. You’re a fine poet.

    Like

Thoughts:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s